Love is Not Love?

Where to Find Love
(Part Four)

It IS not easy to form the 'Singles'. Anywhere fancy. Climbed the mountain and down the mountain, adventure from village to village along the valley and up the canyon is not necessarily suited to the taste. If there was a crush, love may be unrequited. Already terlanjut 'desperate' love, it turns out he's just friends. Aduuh ... sorry.
Therefore, so we're not too disappointed, there are few signs of love that inspired writings of L. Kirkendall which suggests the existence of feelings of love but not love.

Get pleasure in seeing, misinterpreted as love.
Who does not like going out? Dating moments often creates a sense of fun. Happy feelings for a moment before, often also considered that each other has been suitable in various aspects of life. When in fact, not yet. Various problems such as in matters of finance, parenting etc.. In order to love the ripe necessary agreements and suitability in many respects it.

Pride misinterpreted as love.
People often feel proud seeing if it works for love of the idol group. "Here, I'm a bona fide hero, able to lure the seizure so beautiful. And I do not use prayers and incantations. He had lured his own "he says with great pride. Actually not necessarily indicate such feelings of love, but only a sense of satisfaction in the group subjected idol.''

Sexual attraction misinterpreted as love.
The eyes of people are going out less often inaccurate. If we see the curve of her body that 'fantastic', a sense of passion burning from physical contact, will mebuat shadows in favor of married life will be lived. "What a beautiful suppose I could sit side by side with you Dinda, amboiku, the most voluptuous", he said. Though not necessarily indicate such feelings of love, but only a mere lust temptation.

The desire to rebel misinterpreted as love.
The young who are in love, is not uncommon that in the transition period the values they have problems of their environment, especially the elderly. They feel very restricted in its movement interact. So that actually he wants rebel to gain autonomy and freedom. And it seems in the dating find a partner that she felt she could become a life partner to achieve their freedom from parental restraints, so he wanted to get married. Thus they have a feeling he thought both fall in love, but merely the urge to rebel.

Lust wants to have mistaken for love.
Lo lust or jealousy is like to have control or monopolize the embodiments lust, which means it is the symptoms of heart generality. That way she thought was love, when in fact it contains the freedom to love the lover who is also the protection order not to abuse the freedom.

Lust wants to beat others misinterpreted as love.
Dating among the youth, not infrequently the cause of competition. A competition to show the love that only want power and declared the winner. They are very proud to be able to beat other competitors. Feelings of love so he thought, but just the drive to win in the competition.

Desire to maintain the 'prestige' misinterpreted as love.
Dating among the youth, not rarely originated from the consequences of 'runaway love' because it has disappointed lover, thus pushing it to quickly find its place and want a quick marriage. Could be there's a saying in Indonesia "teklek kecemplung kalen, tinimbang golek haluwung balen ." As if she told her friend, "I actually did not love you. Wait, a minute longer will you hear I would soon marry degan others. "But such feelings when she thought the feeling of love to maintain their prestige.

Misinterpreted as a love gift giving.
Gifts among the young is often done as a form of attention or notice of love. Giving a gift can indeed lead to a sense of fun and an expression of pure love. However, that case does not always mean love but as a form of "subtle coercion" to the recipient in order to create continuity of a sweet relationship. Gifts of this sort usually come from one-sided love, or from the giver. Meanwhile, for the gift recipient feel good that she thought was a feeling of love, but just feeling bound or not the heart.

That's about a few things that can make us take a conclusion about the true feelings of love is not love. Certainly a very valuable learning to be missed and a very beautiful memory to be remembered so that we become smarter. Prophet warned: "People are smart people who can subdue their desires and do good for something after its death, later being stupid people (less common) are those who follow their desires and expectations of empty rely on God" (Narrated by Tirmidhi)
And Allaah knows best.
To be continued ...

(A. Kuspriyanto, Juny, 2010)